Writer In Motion Forum

WRITER IN MOTION => Week 3 posts => Topic started by: Cobalt on August 20, 2020, 12:16:45 PM

Title: Putting the Tertiaries to Rest [THIRD DRAFT]
Post by: Cobalt on August 20, 2020, 12:16:45 PM
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zNBsoGuBNZrki13MQqyF5YusVOKIgd8rXZ1CaEbIP8k/edit?usp=sharing

I took my two CPs' feedback and tried to incorporate it; one of them suggested more description of Jesse so she's now a brawny lass with some sucker-punched (pun intended) armor  :D Although this was not a suggested edit, I also changed the octopus to a squid because even if it's a small detail, in my honestly not humble opinion on this particular topic, squids need all the love.

I reordered and reworded some of the dialogue to hopefully flow better. The biggest shame edit I had was that I misspelled a sailing term for a maneuver I've actually done before! But oh well, as one of the CPs said, it was the typo imp  ;D