Writer In Motion Forum
WRITER IN MOTION => Week 2 posts => Topic started by: Erin Fulmer on August 12, 2020, 01:13:08 AM
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Here is my second draft: https://erinfulmerwrites.wordpress.com/2020/08/11/writerinmotion-self-edited-draft-the-witch-of-blue-ridge/ (https://erinfulmerwrites.wordpress.com/2020/08/11/writerinmotion-self-edited-draft-the-witch-of-blue-ridge/)
And here's my self-doubting sum-up:
I'm not actually convinced that it's better than the first try.
And that's the trouble with rewrites, at least for me. It feels like taking apart a complex piece of machinery and putting it back together with different pieces in a different order--in that it may not work at all anymore. I like this version better in some ways--it's closer to my original vision and the personal connection between the witch and the minister does add an extra punch, especially with the reveal at the end. But I suspect there is now an issue of inconsistent tone/voice between the first scene and the rest, and I'm not sure how to fix it.
What do you think?
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Erin, I?m absolutely in love with this version. I love how you?ve really delved into the Witch?s abilities and how ethereal she is.
On a personal note, thank you, Witch of Blue Ridge. <3
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Lovely, lovely story. It's tighter and more immersive. Also, the lack of a name didn't bother me at all this time. I think you're right; she's better without a name. Nice work!
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Erin, I?m absolutely in love with this version. I love how you?ve really delved into the Witch?s abilities and how ethereal she is.
On a personal note, thank you, Witch of Blue Ridge. <3
Thank you! I'm so relieved it works. I think one thing this process has revealed to me is that I can happily spit out a first draft and feel good about it, but when I go to edit I get way too close and start second-guessing myself every which (witch?) way.
And :heart: from the witch, and from me :)
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Lovely, lovely story. It's tighter and more immersive. Also, the lack of a name didn't bother me at all this time. I think you're right; she's better without a name. Nice work!
Thank you so much, Dan! I think she gave up her name when she went into the forest. She doesn't care for the person who gave it to her, after all.
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I really like the new beginning - it gives it an immediate supernatural air. And I LOVE the reveal at the end!
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I really like the new beginning - it gives it an immediate supernatural air. And I LOVE the reveal at the end!
Thank you, Vicky! Those were my two big changes so I'm relieved they worked for you!