Writer In Motion Forum

WRITER IN MOTION => Week 1 posts => Topic started by: lsisler on August 03, 2020, 12:41:00 PM

Title: Untitled: First Draft
Post by: lsisler on August 03, 2020, 12:41:00 PM

Here is my first draft, still untitled.

Title: Re: Untitled: First Draft
Post by: BErixson on August 03, 2020, 04:32:07 PM

Hello! Of course I'm the first reply on yours. I can see how you made the connection to the house and the beach house. I can also see where you've pulled in elements of the unknown and anticipation from the image.

Looking forward to the next draft.

Keep writing.

Title: Re: Untitled: First Draft
Post by: lsisler on August 03, 2020, 04:39:05 PM

For the next round of self-edits I need to tighten up the language and perhaps provide a bit more connective tissue throughout.
Thanks for reading!

Title: Re: Untitled: First Draft
Post by: Vickywrites on August 04, 2020, 03:04:51 PM

Hello, I can see the connection between the mountain & the beach houses too. I enjoyed the memoir-esq feel and the musical references, music is so evocative. Looking forward to reading the next draft!

Title: Re: Untitled: First Draft
Post by: lsisler on August 04, 2020, 04:43:32 PM

Thanks, Vicky, for the words of encouragement. I am looking forward to the next draft as well.

Title: Re: Untitled: First Draft
Post by: Erin Fulmer on August 04, 2020, 06:42:14 PM

Love that first line and the way you brought it back in the last line.