Writer In Motion Forum

WRITER IN MOTION => Week 1 posts => Topic started by: songmaiden on August 04, 2020, 04:09:34 AM

Title: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: songmaiden on August 04, 2020, 04:09:34 AM

Here's a link to my unedited draft if you're inclined to read it. It's light sci fi.
https://smroffey.com/writer-in-motion-week-1-unedited-first-draft/

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: Erin Fulmer on August 04, 2020, 05:28:37 AM

I really enjoyed this. A strong voice with an intriguing concept and characters. You packed a lot of worldbuilding into a small amount of words, too. I was pretty tired when I read it and it still made me sit up and pay attention so I look forward to seeing how you refine it!

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: Vickywrites on August 04, 2020, 09:20:41 PM

I was really impressed with the amount of world building in this story! It gripped me right from the start. I look forward to reading the next draft!

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: NysseRae on August 04, 2020, 09:46:31 PM

That twist at the end! This was very cool - I loved the blending of different realities. Trying to figure out what was real and how everything fit together kept me hooked the whole way through!

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: songmaiden on August 06, 2020, 02:25:21 AM

Thank you all! I had fun and went in a totally different direction with it than I thought I would. I?ve been reading everyone?s stories as the WriterInMotion account as I post them on the Twitter thread?great stuff!

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: SKaeth on August 06, 2020, 02:02:50 PM

Wow, SM, this is so cool! It reminds me a bit of the Janus books I used to love when I was a kid, with the twist at the end! Excellent job showing the mental journey!

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: songmaiden on August 07, 2020, 12:29:38 PM

Thanks, Skaeth! I?m itching to edit!

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: K. J. Harrowick on August 07, 2020, 06:40:02 PM

YOU WROTE SCIENCE FICTION?

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?  :D

Beautiful concept and I love that your MC is trying to unbrainwash herself.  :taco: :dragon: :heart:

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: Kimberly B. on August 07, 2020, 08:03:20 PM

This was so cool! I love how you were able to build a world in so little words, both painting us a visual and dropping hints of how this society work in such a short space. Lovely voice as well.

Title: Re: Week 1 Unedited Draft - Poisonous Thoughts
Post by: Thuy on August 08, 2020, 06:15:41 PM

It's amazing how you've built such a complex world and threw your characters into the thick of such intrigue and betrayal in so few words! And the haunting song lyrics!