The feedback I got was so uplifting and constructive. I can't thank my Cps enough for the help they gave. I tried to dig deeper into the character arc for this round of editing so *fingers crossed* I hopefully didn't break the story. And I came up with a brand new title this week as well! Only took two weeks to come up with one, but apparently last year's title was too easy, so this one had to be difficult. For more details on this round of editing, see my blog post here:
https://dani-frank.com/2020/08/22/writer-in-motion-2020-draft-3-cp-comments/Anyway, enjoy round three!
This was it. Her final resting place. She was going to die on this dumb mountain without even reaching the top.
"I'm done."
"Come on, Wildcat," Matt called back, already an annoying distance up the trail. "If we drop below fifty this bus will blow."
"Screw that, Keanu. Let the mountain take me."
"It can't be much further," Matt repeated for the seventh time in the past hour. His perfect ass was no longer enough motivation to keep going.
"Oh wow. Tessa, look at this view! It's so beautiful."
They were on a mountain in a national park. Every bend had a beautiful view, and she was getting pretty damn sick of them. Jesus help her, if he did another handstand, she would push him off this mountain.
Dragging her feet up the path to where he stopped, she looked out where the trees parted, revealing a clear view. The mountains faded into the distance from a deep, rocky grey to ocean blue and a pale purple. It was gorgeous. If she wasn't sweating like a pig and gasping like a fish on a freaking mountain this could almost be considered romantic.
"This would be the perfect backdrop for another inversion." Matt interrupted her musing.
Before she could respond, he tossed her his phone, threw off his shirt, and flipped himself into a perfect handstand on the cliff.
"No."
"But, babe. Look at this view." He switched his weight to one hand so he could point to the mountains behind him, and she seethed. Could he at least
look tired? "My followers will love it. Do it for the gram, babe."
"I'm hot. I'm tired. And I don't even like tea!"
"It's not about the tea. It's about the journey to the top."
"Yeah, pass." He was a nice guy and the sex was amazing, but she didn't need another platitude on how "inversions" were about focusing on your foundation. "Don't get dead," she called back over her shoulder as she started down the mountain.
"No, wait." There was an anxious note to his voice that made her turn just in time to see him wobble.
Her eyes met his for an infinite moment, her feet rooted in disbelief, as he tumbled out of view.
"Matt!"
Tessa was surprised to see Keanu Reeves flash before her eyes. Hours and hours of dramatic explosions and cheesy one-liners while sitting on a lumpy, upcycled couch with boxes of takeout and Matt laughing and cheering Keanu on with her. This was supposed to be something casual. And even if it wasn't, he was supposed to be safe. Miles up a mountain and he's still doing handstands. He was supposed to be indestructible, someone who could carry her hopes and fears-her heart-and never die.
"Tessa?" A soft call came from over the ledge. "Are you still there?"
Her heart felt like it had stopped and was restarting as she ran to the edge to find that the cliff was not as sheer as she thought. He clung to the face like a baby opossum on its mother maybe five feet below her.
"Matt! I'm here."
"I don't think I can move." He shifted, and the gravel beneath him began to trickle precariously.
"Hold on, I'll find help." The trail, however, remained stubbornly empty of assistance.
"Thanks, Tessa. I really appreciate you, but I might have overdone it with the inversions, and I'm not sure how long I can hang on."
Damn it! Matt and his handstands. She whipped off her shirt, a shallow part of her glad she picked her cute sports bra for the hike.
Crouching, she slithered to the edge of the cliff, holding a sapling with her free hand to anchor herself. "Ok, I'm going to lower this down to you, but you're a meaty giant, and I can't pull you up on my own. Can you do it?" She lowered her shirt over the edge. Stretching as far as she could, it landed about a foot above his head. It would have to be enough.
"Tessa, I'm scared."
"Pop quiz, hotshot. You're stuck on a mountain face, and this is your only way out. What do you do?"
He chuckled. "Thank goodness this isn't a 'shoot the hostage' situation."
Taking a deep breath, he performed some sort of jump and scramble until he caught the end of her shirt. Tessa's arm felt like ripping from its socket, but she held on. She could be strong for him, too.
His hand reached the ledge and he was wrapping himself around her before he even fully pulled himself up. "My hero," he proclaimed, planting small kisses along her cheek and neck until she was laughing too hard to breathe.
"I have to warn you," she said. "I've heard relationships based on tense experiences never work."
"We'll have to base it on sex then," he replied, giving her ear a nip.
A chuckle from outside their embrace brought their attention back to the world around them. A couple appeared from further up the trail, both of them blowing at steaming to-go cups, their presence a reminder that this trail was notsupposed to be death-defying.
"We're almost there!" Matt grabbed her hand, leading her the few yards up the mountain until the trees parted, and there in a clearing sat a small cottage with a neatly printed sign over the door stating 'Teahouse.'
Matt walked straight inside and up to the register.
"Two chai teas, please." Tessa was surprised how much she liked that he remembered the one tea she would drink. He placed his card confidently down on the counter for the barista to take.
"I'm sorry, sir," she replied. "We only take cash."
He turned back to Tessa, his eyes wide and covered his mouth with both hands. "I didn't even think about bringing cash," he mumbled through his fingers.
Tessa burst out laughing. "This wasn't even about the tea. Remember?"
Topic: New title! - A TENSE EXPERIENCE (Read 522 times)