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Topics - Grim Dreamer

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Week 5 posts / Waiting to Jump: R. Fryar Final Thoughts
« on: December 01, 2019, 03:18:54 PM »
WIM Week 5: Final Thoughts

Flash Fiction and The Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Cake

So many things happened last week. Thanksgiving happened. That's always an event. I ended up working additional days out of town. I busted through and finished the first 50,000 words of my paranormal fantasy novel FLIPPING for NaNoWriMo. And my twin sons had the big one. The big birthday. SIXTEEN.

In honor of their birthday, I promised them a cake. One of my sons is gluten-free, as am I, so when it comes to cakes, I have to make it. This is non-negotiable.

They asked for ... Lemon Layer Cake.

I hate Lemon Layer Cake. I don't like to eat it, and I don't like to bake it. At this time of year, the lemons are terrible. Despite my very best efforts, the filling is going to taste like someone took vanilla pudding and added lemon-scented furniture polish. And these cakes never put on the volume they are supposed to achieve with the whipping of the egg whites, meaning I've got to make four cakes instead of two. Then there's the frosting. It's about as sticky as a hot mess can get.

This year was an absolute disaster. Not only were all those things wrong with the cake, the filling proved to be so slippery that I had a complete cakeslide, and had to cross-pin the cakes with a pair of chopsticks to keep the whole mess from falling apart. And the taste--well, let's just not go there. Suffice to say, I did not want the thin slice I had, and would not go back for seconds.

But everyone else did. I think they were mostly being nice, but every last one of them, including my somewhat hard-to-please sons, thought it was a very good cake. In fact, inside of two days, they'd eaten it all.

Which brings me to WIM and my short story, Waiting To Jump.

When I first saw the prompt five weeks ago, I felt like I'd just been asked to make Lemon Layer Cake. What on earth was I going to do with such a static image? Worse, what was I going to invent from that lemon and serve in 1,000 words?

Waiting to Jump, much like my Lemon Layer Cake, is not a great thing. There's barely enough tension to hold it together, even cross-pinned with a bit of allegory. The prose is so-so. The characters are pretty flat. It's cloying with the overly sweet ending. In short, I wouldn't dream of sending this thing out anywhere without a complete overhaul. It's simply not a good story.

But ... it's not terrible. And moreover, I think some of the other writers enjoyed it too. As a Lemon Layer Cake goes, it sufficed. It got through the five weeks as a whole story. And while it may have avalanched a time or two from one side or another, it's held together somehow by the concept. That's not too bad.

That's what events like WIM are for. Turning lemons into Lemon Layer Cakes. Or lemon pound cakes. Or lemonade. You might not always be happy with the final result, but it's a learning experience. Nothing wrong with that. And the result can't be as bad as that Lemon Layer Cake!

https://rebeccafryar.com/blog/

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Week 4 posts / Waiting to Jump: CPs, Round 2
« on: November 24, 2019, 04:50:22 PM »
WIM Blog Post 4: Critique Round 2

Part 1: CPs vs Beta Readers

Last week was the hardest week of WIM for me. General critiques from multiple CPs at the same time are not part of my usual writing process at this point in manuscript development (2nd draft). Typically, I will have a trusted CP go over a second draft before it goes out for a general critique round, a.k.a. Beta reading, and then it's time for CPs again.

I think most writers have a preference about how many CPs they want handling their MS. It's always like "cooks in the kitchen" for me, and I'm a little picky about how many cooks and which cooks I want in my kitchen. I prefer to work with a limited number of CPs. Now when it comes to Beta readers, the more the merrier. Beta readers are taste-testers! Love having lots of them! But when it comes to CPs, I am selective.

So, what is the difference? How is Beta feedback different from CP feedback, and why do you need both? How do you choose a CP vs. a Beta reader? How do you know when a CP is a good fit or if a CP relationship isn't working for you? Where do you find these rare persons?

This is my own personal opinion, but for me, a CP is an individual with valuable writing skills and insight whom I trust to work with me on achieving my vision for the story. I solicit their feedback, but I also feel free to challenge it, to ask for clarification, to argue points, concede points, and belabor them until I own those changes. They are partners in my manuscript kitchen, people I trust with a knife and a mixer, and although it's not in the job description, I am lucky enough to have CP's who have listened to me bawl out my emotions in the glorious agony that is writing.

In contrast, Beta readers are readers. They sample a prepared manuscript and evaluate it as readers. Was it good? What did they like? What did they hate? It's up to you, the writer, to filter that feedback and decide what need to happen to that manuscript to make it better. Later this week, I'll do a post on choosing CPs, and on how to find and evaluate your Betas. But the important distinction for me is that Beta readers taste-test the finished (or close to finished product) before it goes back to the kitchen for further work. They aren't there to tell you how to fix it.

So, your CP is the cook in the kitchen with you, who will listen when you yell that your Beta's clearly don't know that your MC is supposed to be an unlikable jerk in chapter one. They will commiserate. And then they'll help you figure out a way to make that unlikable jerk a vulnerable, understandable jerk who is ripe for change. They work with you on your vision to make it better.

Do you need one or the other? Well, you need both. Tomorrow's post will be about how I find and choose CP's, and then I'll talk about Beta readers.

https://rebeccafryar.com/blog/

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Week 3 posts / Waiting To Jump: CP Round
« on: November 17, 2019, 04:29:48 PM »
WIM Third Week Post: CP Round
Part 1: Processing

This weekend, Waiting to Jump went to three critique partners. I thought I would start this week with a post on how I process feedback--general (this week's round) and targeted (next week's round).

To be honest, I always open these documents feeling something akin to despair. Not only do I expect to be confronted with things that people don't like, the document itself is now visually overwhelming. But once I get over the nausea, I settle down and take out a yellow legal pad. I give each critique partner a third of a page with their name as a header. If I was doing it with a novel, each chapter gets a page with the critique partner's name on it. Then I'll settle down with a cup of tea and read the comments for each document as dispassionately as possible.

It used to bother me that readers would have such different ideas of my "problems" and how to fix them. Particularly galling were comments where one reader loved something, and another found it cut-worthy. I'd stamp around and wonder why people couldn't be objective. Confronting feedback from multiple critique partners is bound to result in a number of opinions on your story: all of them valid, all of them different, and all of them subjective, and each with different ideas of how your story could be improved. So, what do you change?

Exactly what you want to change.

Here's how I process CP feedback.

First, I find where all three CPs agree that something isn't working. I write each comment on that particular part of the story down under each CP's name. Even if I disagree, this particular part of the story needs attention.

Barring agreement on a developmental issue, I also look at lines that got comments. If one line gets three different comments, it means that something about that line is drawing attention to itself.  It's sticking out. Maybe sticking out too much! Good prose should be seamless. It should not distract. If my prose is stabbing people in the eyeballs, I may be spending too much time trying to make my words beautiful instead of making my story beautiful.

Secondly, I find where two CP's agree that something isn't working. Same if there is a line that has been commented twice. I will look at these carefully. If I agree that there's an issue there, it's on my list to be checked.

All remaining comments will be filtered through the lens of my vision. I looked hard at this critique round for one item on my revision list. Was my story surreal enough, in keeping with what I wanted for the piece from the beginning?

Here is how Waiting to Jump fared in the critique round:

0 agreement of comments in developmental issues.

Five lines with consistent comments.
--1st sentence
--copied on by mistake
---nailed him by numbers
--he'd have to jump
--trapped behind the glass
--knew who Batlady was

No feedback was uniform on these lines. However, they seemed to catch a writer's eye, and so I'll look at them and see what I can do to make them better.

Where my story didn't fare as well? Suspension of disbelief when it came to the pseudo-realistic details of the story: Kenny's job, his firing, his ability to get back in the building with his weapon of self-destruction, and how he gets out again. This is a problem, because I wrote this story with a surreal idea in mind. The first draft in particular had the feel of a very skewed reality throughout.

The question I must ask now is how to achieve that surrealism from beginning to end without having any question arise of "how can this happen?" I want to resolve in this next draft, drifting closer to my idea of something utterly fantastic from line one to line's end. I'll have to dig a little deeper to create the piece I have in mind.

Another item that came up is a need for a touch more emotional reaction by Kenny in the piece. This is an area where I expected to have trouble, but given that there are exactly two areas that need attention on this front, I'm hoping to incorporate some of the surreal into the emotional impact of the story, too.

After sorting critique feedback, a little chat with a trusted CP, and a special adviser on the accounting aspect of Kenny's life, I'm ready to tackle the second part of CP feedback. Brainstorming.

https://rebeccafryar.com/blog/

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Resources / Rebecca's Word Rake
« on: November 12, 2019, 07:26:35 PM »
Self-Editing Checklist

I compiled this some time ago to use as a word rake when I found most of the grammar programs out there were great at identifying words, but not great at identifying which words should be dealt with in a line edit. Feel free to use it. I print one out and keep it for line editing.

1)   -ing (Participle phrases used as adverbs have a tendency to be problems. Check 'em.)
2)   to (Checking for infinitives. Not all are a problem, but they should be looked at. A check for to will also bring up prepositions and all kinds of words. I mark each infinitive that shows up)
3)   has/ have/had (Check your perfect and your pluperfect. Watch out for I've, he'd, she'd, you'd. Immediacy is important in creative writing, and these words create distance.)
4)   that/there (That--check for fillers. Usually that shows up as a coordinating conjunction for me. Sometimes it can be eliminated. Sometimes it just means I need to thing about whether I want a phrase or a second main clause. There--expletive constructions can and should be eliminated. Obviously, you would leave there when you need to identify a spot.)
5)   was/were (Not always your friends, and they can be like ticks in a manuscript. They get used all the time in description. "Her hair was red and curly and fell to her shoulders." Compare to "Her red hair curled from the crown of her head to her shoulders.") BUT...BE VERY CAREFUL when it comes to working with these words, though. Was and were may be indicators of passive voice, but they are also being verbs and they are tense markers for the past progressive tense. (Was walking to the store). Don't go nuts cutting. Figure out your usage and go from there.
Going to add something here, because I see this problem with was/were usage a lot more now that grammar software flags "was" as passive. Was has several uses in a sentence. 1) It can function as a linking verb. (Dwyn was a dwarf first, a Dragon second. ) 2) as a tense marker, helping verb, for the past progressive tense (He was running before he knew it) and 3) a marker for passive voice (He was thrown over the chair by Rachet). Grammar software flags them all as passive. I find it much more helpful to mark them in an MS and check them by hand.
6)   -ly (Adverbs should be used with care.)
7)   -hear, see, saw, feel, felt, think, thought, know, knew, smell, taste, notice, wonder, get, got, look (Character filters. They create distance from the character and the writing. Compare: "He heard the bell ring and woke up" to "The bell rang, an iron note that jarred him awake.")
8)  -then, up, down, out, in, off, over, just, some, very, just, even (Throwaway words. Sometimes you need them. Sit down vs sit up. Many times you don't. Stood up. Can you stand any other way?)
9)   -eye, ear, hand, finger, head, chest, leg, foot, mouth (Body count. Eyes really don't crawl across the landscape, and those constructions can go. But sometimes writing becomes littered with body parts doing the action. Some is fine. Too much needs to be checked out.)
10)   -of the, by the, on the, to the, in the (Prep check. We all have our pet prepositional phrases. Be watchful for embedded prepositional phrases. The longer your preposition descriptions get, the more likely you have not painted a clear picture and were trying to use more paint to cover it up. Revise as needed.)
11)   -good, bad, high, low, small, tall, big, large, little, narrow, powerful, beautiful (All of these are generic terms. They don't always enhance your description. Find your favorites and hunt for them. See if they can be eliminated in favor of something more specific.)
12)   -arrive, make, made, took, take, put, place, -ion (Possible fog makers. They tend to be used in tell sections, and don't give a lot of information. Check them.)
13)   -initial conjunction-check for your usual conjunctions at the beginning of your sentences. For me, this isn't a problem with and, or, but. It's the subordinates: when, after, and so are my more common offenders. Check and see if you need them. If you don't, restructure the sentence. If they fit perfectly, leave 'em in!


Inevitably, you'll find pet words in your writing to hunt for. Always good to make a list and keep it close.

Tips come from a very handy book: Editor-Proof Your Writing by Don McNair. I didn't include the wonderful advice on checking for double verbs and eliminating where you can, hunting down and killing double adjectives, nouns and heaven-help-us double adverbs, or the useful advice on dialog tags. Also recommended for self-editing: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers (Renni Browne and Dave King) and Noah Lukeman's A Dash of Style. Those belong on every writer's shelf in my opinion.

One of these days, when I've finally mastered punctuation, I'll do a check list for myself. Until then, someone needs to invent me a mousetrap that snaps over my fingers whenever I misuse a comma.

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Week 2 posts / Draft 2: Waiting To Jump
« on: November 10, 2019, 04:20:15 PM »
WIM: Week 2 :The Ugly Duck
Part 1 Sunday

Now comes the fun part! The Ugly Duck draft!

Those of you who know me from Twitter know that I paint. Sometimes I find painting and writing have a lot in common.

When I paint, I usually start by sketching some kind of reference photo, but more often than not, I?m combining pictures in my mind before I start sketching. It looks okay when I?m done. Not bad. I mask off my tricky whites, reserve the bigger patches. I usually have an idea of my color scheme. I grab my scratch paper to test colors. Then the paint goes on the page. Instant mess.

My nice, gorgeous line drawing suddenly goes from not-so-bad to the finger-painting of a three-year-old. It looks bad. Really bad. Like chuck-em-on-the-burn-pile bad. I've learned not to do that. There's nothing wrong with my sketch or my painting. It's just the Ugly Duck phase.

Writing is the same way for me. I'm taking my pencil-sketch story, and painting it. It's rough because it's work, and it's not pretty, but it's also an important part of my process. In a second draft, I want the details, emotions, impressions, and perceptions to stand out like every sharp corner and knobby bump on a very ugly duck. This draft is where my characters, my themes, and my writerly quirks are going to poke out and jab me right in my eyeballs. This is my vision draft.

To create my Ugly Duck draft for this story, I'll rewrite the thing as many times as it takes me to lay down all the colors. That will probably be three to five times, based on previous stories. It's still going to be rough going into the CP round, but that's okay. Once I have my Ugly Duck, I know where I'm going.

That's important because CP advice can be hard to use if I don't know what my vision is. I find that this is the single best way to make every critique work for me, improving my response to feedback, my use of that feedback, and how I find the very best feedback for me and my work.

Now, some writers get their first draft in the Ugly Duck stage on the first try. How do they do it? Do they plot every moment? Some of them do. Do they pants fearlessly on the edge of disaster? Some of them do. Personally, I think getting a really good first draft comes with experience. Experience takes writing. Lots and lots of writing. Great! That?s something I can do and like doing.
 
So, love on these Ugly Ducks. Every Ugly Duck is a step on the path to achieving clarity of vision, whether you pants every minute or plot every detail.

This week, I will post one of my Ugly Ducks on my blog and in the WIM forum, along with the time it took me, the word count, and the thoughts that went through my mind as I worked from one redraft to the next. The process I have for redrafting is to read the initial draft through quickly, toss it aside, open a new document and draft without thinking. It's very fast, very stream-of-consciousness, and messy.

With novels, I usually do a hybrid of this: read a scene or chapter, and then redraft it, or just redraft the scenes where I know something needs to change in terms of character, setting, theme, voice, or mood. But by redrafting instead of revising at this point, I won't quite lose sight of my vision overall. Instead, I'll develop it, and be ready to revise before and after CP feedback.

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Week 0 posts / Prompt Reaction and Process for Waiting To Jump
« on: November 06, 2019, 10:31:18 PM »
WIM Week 0

This is my first time participating in Writers-In-Motion! I was initially very hesitant about exposing my process of drafting/redrafting/rewriting/revising/ burn-it-and-start-over, mostly because...

I'm a pantser. With sequins.

Believe me, I tried to change my pantsing ways. For years, I tried. I read the books. I tried beat sheets. I tried the outline. I tried the reverse outline. (FYI: That?s the least onerous kind of outline if any pantser wants to try it. It's still an outline. You will cry. Just not as much.) I spent a lot of years trying to change who I was.

I'd been told that I was wrong. That I couldn't write the way I did and it be right. That what I did in my head couldn't work. I was embarrassed to call myself a real writer. You see, I'm a messy writer. My desk is messy. My mind is messy. My stories are messy.

But it's a beautiful mess. I'm slowly beginning to embrace me and the way my process works. There actually is some process to it.

If you pants, then pants boldly. If you plot, hey, you plot away and sing it out fearlessly. The universal truth of writing is there is no one way to write.

On to the prompt:

The first thing I thought when I saw the prompt was that it was sterile, frightening, and staged. The colors were stark and uninspiring. The lady holds the flare with the look of a person who has no choice in the matter. Her face is frozen, emotionless.

The more I looked at it, the more my brain churned. This seemed like a picture intended to be inspiring, but instead of being inspiring, it seemed to belong to the world of motivational posters where the caption would probably say something like "Reach for the Sky" and the person looking at it would be thinking, "At gunpoint?"
What can I say? My mind is a weird place.

I didn't want to go dark on this prompt. Having triggered the feelings of despair, sadness, and trapped lives, I wanted to do something about it. Something fantastic, off-the-wall, and happy for all involved. I wanted to save that woman and help her find both a life and a smile. So, I did.

My process:

I wrote my story stream-of-consciousness in right at ten minutes. I didn't plan it. I didn't think about it. I didn't even look at the picture while I wrote it.

The name Kenny came out of nowhere. I went with it. The only character thing I was conscious of as I wrote was a need to capture the hatred Kenny feels for his dead-end job and how he feels trapped in a situation he's desperate to escape. I wrote out the images purely as his emotional reaction to them.

The only plot thing I kept in mind was my personal goal to tell this as a full story?a protagonist, a goal, a problem, his solution, and the resolution. I also wanted to do it in 500 words or less. Why 500? Because I wanted room to add in the next draft. Also, being a pantser, most of my first drafts serve as the bones for rewrites rather than revision. I wanted a whole, told story there on day one. No showing. Only telling.

I wanted to get an idea of what would be happening in the scenes, around the scenes, and behind the scenes of this story, and the only way I could do that was to tell it to myself first.

Like I said. Beautiful mess.

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Week 1 posts / Draft 1: Waiting To Jump
« on: November 03, 2019, 04:49:46 PM »
I'll probably get this up on my blog in a day or so, but I wanted to put it here as well. Enjoy.

Waiting To Jump

   Kenny was waiting for Batlady to jump. When she did, that would be his cue.
   The office was full of these inane motivational posters. Everest is waiting to kill you faced him every day across his desk. Zombie Biker dudes completed the Tour De France on the way to slaughter him whenever he walked down the hall. And behind the boss?s desk, Batlady held her torch above the clouds, her face trapped in that tortured vision that suggested somebody evil had nailed her feet to her perch, but he didn?t see the blood. Cleaned it up for the photoshoot probably. But one of these days, she?d pull her feet free, and so would he.
   But when she jumped, he didn?t expect to be the one to catch her.
   He was breaking the law at the time. He?d heard through the office gossip-chain that his head was on the chopping block. If they were going to fire him, he?d prefer to go out with everything he needed to blow enough whistles to bring every dog in the regulatory agencies barking to the door. He took everything he needed: books, phone-numbers, illegal correspondence, feeling more self-righteous and less like dog-doo on a shoe the further he dug into the darkness he?d worked in for so long.
   He jumped up like the chair had shot thumbtacks in his ass when he heard her scream. And there she was, batwing cape flapping around her flailing arms, yoga pants on fire, bloody feet trailing helpless streamers as she fell.
   Maybe it was his need to save something. Maybe he felt for her, trapped in the world for so long that she?d die to get out of it, like he would. Maybe he was high on either the gasoline fumes or the vindictive joy he felt in knowing he didn?t need to use it to bring down the corporate Dark Tower. But he flung himself at the poster, arms open wide, screaming for her to grab hold?he?d catch her.
   They took the poster with them when they left. She carried all the information he stole, hidden in the folds of her cloak. He carried the gasoline, which he didn?t need anymore. He?d never really fit the image of a terrorist. She was so beautiful, and he gave her his shoes because her feet were so bloody.
   Now they raise organic vegetables on a farm in Oregon. Kenny is happy in his Birkenstocks and wide-brimmed hat, and his blood pressure numbers are the envy of men half his age. And Batlady cards wool from their hair-sheep to spin into thread, which she looms into the cloth for all the batwing cloaks she sells. She?s happy too. Kenny calls her Lady Bee. The nail-holes in her feet barely show.


Process notes:
This took me 10 minutes.
I didn't look at the prompt more than three times.
I didn't make a mood board.
I didn't pick out a song for it.
I didn't plan it, plot it, do character work, or anything writerly at all, unless you count thinking about what I would end up writing.

This isn't to say a thing against anyone who does all those things! I firmly believe that there is no one way to write, and that pantsing doesn't make me more or less of a writer. But since this is about process, I wanted to go into my "process" just a little bit: imagining until something emerges out of the background and decides to be. Just in case there are any pantsers on here, who, like me, have sometimes felt that they weren't "real writers" because they didn't fit the mold. ;)

Editing note: I have no idea why the apostrophes have been transformed into question marks. :-[

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Writer & Editor Bios / Rebecca Fryar: Fantasy
« on: November 02, 2019, 08:04:46 PM »
Name: R. Lee Fryar
Pronouns: She/Her

Bio: R. Lee Fryar lives in Arkansas, where she divides her time between writing, cat wrangling, educating her teenage twins, and painting. Her hobbies are watercolor, reading, cooking, and gardening very badly.

What I write: I write adult fantasy, usually with environmental and rural themes. I also write poetry--both the fantastic kind and the kind you write when you're up at three in the morning with insomnia. One of these days I may pair illustrations with writing and try for a graphic novel.

Currently working on: I'm currently revising an adult rural fantasy called Tree Gods, about a Drus (male Dryad) who falls in love with the man who has come to cut down his forest. I just finished revising an epic fantasy about a dwarf discovering his inner Dragon through his relationship with the mountain who tried to kill him, and I'm drafting a paranormal fantasy about a gay ghost who haunts the man who is trying to flip his haunted house. I'm also simmering a fantasy about a man who gets a chance to reconcile with his estranged family after his death, but he has to do it as an alligator. Yes, I'm weird.

WIM project: Weird. Yeah. It fits me. It's a magical realism short story about two desperate people--a corporate reject who wants to burn the office down and a woman trapped in a motivational poster who escape their prison together.

Published: Unpublished, but agented, and hopefully going out on submission soon? Again.

Connect: Twitter @rebecca_fryar
Website: rebeccafryar.com

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