Writer In Motion Forum

I enjoyed reading this story. This line stood out for me: "As if any of them knew a single thing about keeping something alive." Given the reveal on Harry later, I had to circle back to savor this bit of foreshadowing.  I love stuff like that, and I appreciate that there is some ambiguity about what happened and why--it doesn't matter to the reality of your characters as much as the environmental hazard. Great stuff, and I wonder what it would look like in a novella form. I could see that quest to touch the sky getting its own space, for sure.

You asked for help on the title, and I'm horrible at titles. I'm also horrible at keeping bad ideas to myself, so here you go:

"Touching the sky" (too "on the nose", right?)
"The Last Mint Tea"
"Harry's an Idiot" (probably not the one you want to go with, but it had to be said)
"The Masks We Wear"
"The Tender"
"Cyanotypes"

Anything beyond this will be me getting too silly.  Good luck with your real title!

Excerpt from transcript of conversation with Alex Cervantes.

"So I had the helicopter dream again."
"Oh Alex, tell me about it."
"Well, same as the others, you know? I'm flying real low in my old H-8 over a huge crowd and then it goes out of control. Only this time?"
"What happened this time?"
"This time just before I hit the ground, I saw my father in the crowd."
(sound of typing) "Running away from you like before?"
"No, Doc, see, that's the thing. He was just standing there in uniform at full salute. He kept on saluting ?til the helicopter hit him." 

*****

Sage Henderson sighed deeply. She had spent the entire week getting transcripts from the director's case files meticulously prepared for handing over to the veterans liaison's office, and now it looked like she was going to miss the meeting.  The virtual assistant in her car had led here to a non-descript office building that lacked the sort of signage one would expect from a government agency. 

"Percy, can you confirm the address, please?"

"That's the spot, Superdoc! Trust me!" the AI answered. "Also, you should know that rad levels in this area are orange today. Remember to put shields in place and remove all personal effects."  Only half-listening to the car's persona, Sage went through her own checklist?shields, satchel, appearance?and headed inside quickly to minimize her personal exposure.

The lobby's smell hit Sage first: it was an odd combination of cooking smells and detergents; her first thought was that someone had poured liquid detergent into a bag of barbecue potato chips. She felt reassured when she saw marks on the carpet from a recent pass of a rotary cleaner?at least the detergent portion of that horrid recipe made sense.

The high arches on the interior walls of the lobby meant the building had last been decorated decades before the Mercers War had begun. The security checkpoint, however, was clearly much more recently installed.  The two security guards were the only other people in the lobby.

"I'm Doctor Henderson," she announced. "I'm here to speak with Colonel Alcaraz."

One of the guards waved her towards the scanner. "It's orange out, so we gotta zap you ?til you glow, ma'am."

"The background radiation messes up our scans," the other added unnecessarily.

"No problem," Sage answered, placing her items on the conveyor belt and walking into the long plastic scanning tunnel.  "Can you tell me where I can find the colonel?"

The two guards exchanged a look with one another, then the taller one said, "The colonel is on parking level five."

"There's an underground parking garage?" she asked, picking up her items from the conveyor belt. They felt warm to the touch?the guards hadn't been kidding.

"No, ma'am. Not any more."

Sage nodded, mostly to herself, and got into the elevator.

*****

Excerpt from the Mercer Intelligence Officer Training Manual:

The acronym BREAK can be helpful for the intelligence officer operating with captured personnel in the Terran war zone:

B ? Bring the prisoner back to the point of their trauma
R ? Realistic situation
E ? Engage all of the senses
A ? Administer the testing or questioning protocol
K - Kill the prisoner

*****

When the elevator door opened, it revealed an army officer?surely Alcaraz?flanked by two guards pointing weapons at her.

"Doctor Henderson?" the officer asked.

"Yes. Are you Colonel Alcaraz?"

"Indeed, I am. Sorry about the extra precautions, ma'am. You can never be too careful these days." The colonel was shorter than she had expected and a bit older, too?his mustache and temple both had spots of gray. "I see you found the place, though."

"I thought I was lost at first," Sage admitted. "I have the files that the Director said you would require."

"Excellent," the colonel said with a wink. "Follow me, and we'll go over them together." The colonel led Sage to a small room with an ancient red engraved sign on the door that read "Break Room."

The colonel flipped the switch for fluorescent lighting that flickered on, creating a strobing effect in the room. In the center of the room, a hooded man stood up straight and looked at the two of them with a fanatical expression and bright glowing yellow eyes?a Mercer.

Growling like a bear, it leapt at Sage with hands outstretched towards her satchel. She leaned back into the colonel, planted a solid kick into the side of the Mercer, and sent it headfirst into a nearby wall.  Nanite smoke poured out from its head as it began to repair the damage it received. She ran with the colonel out the door and down the hallway, making sure to drop the satchel clumsily on the way. Data sticks scattered across the floor in a cascade.

As she rounded the corner, she glanced back and saw the Mercer emerge from the doorway, placing its hand to its face as it surveyed the hallway. Nanites continued to rush out of its head, and its eyes weren't visible as it stooped down and started to scoop up the contents of the satchel. 

Alarms began to ring and security doors started slamming down. Sage and the colonel found themselves alone in one of the newly secured hallway segments.

"So, now we wait for the Mercer to escape?" Sage asked.

"Yep. It's got bigger fish to fry, and your satchel has the recipe."

*****

Thirty meters above the Mercer airfield, Cervantes lost control of the H-8 again while the yellow-eyed crowd screamed and pointed.  "We're going down, Mac!"

"Nonsense!" yelled the co-pilot. "We've got this! Just tell me the passphrase for the remote detonation facility!"

Cervantes looked over at the copilot as the crowd outside spun around the cockpit like a hula hoop. "The what? What the hell are you talking about?"

"The passphrase for detonation! I can use it to fix the rotors!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Cervantes screamed. Mac yanked on the collective and the craft righted itself suddenly, just before it would have plunged into the crowd. Thousands of yellow eyes turned to look at the spectacle unfolding just above their heads.

"The passphrase for the detonation facility!" Mac screamed angrily. Steam rose from the hand it had used to pull on the collective hard enough to prevent the crash.

"What detonation facility?!" Cervantes yelled.

Mac looked around confused, just as the device hidden in Cervantes' brain began to split atoms and change the balance of the war.