First Draft: An Ill-Conceived Wish

[NysseRae]

Here is my first draft! I had fun with colour-coding my paragraphs as I wrote them to try and show the drafting process.

https://nyssarae.wordpress.com/2020/08/05/writer-in-motion-week-1-first-draft/

[dankoboldt]

Nicely done, Nyssa Rae! The opening really drew me in. I didn't realize what the colors meant until I saw how thoroughly you documented your drafting process. How cool that you shared that level of detail.

[Vickywrites]

Love this idea! Great set up, I especially liked it when the genie-esq character had to remember how to smile. Interesting to see your non-linear approach via the colour coding too. Looking forward to the revised draft!

[SKaeth]

I love the way you color-coded your timeline of writing and explained your process! Very cool! And your story is so imaginative. I'm very much looking forward to seeing your editing process!

[Fariha Khayyam]

loved that ending and the drafting process details, great idea!

[NysseRae]

Nicely done, Nyssa Rae! The opening really drew me in. I didn't realize what the colors meant until I saw how thoroughly you documented your drafting process. How cool that you shared that level of detail.

Thank you, that's great to hear! I wondered if the colours might be confusing, haha, but I'm glad to hear the notes helped make sense of it!

Love this idea! Great set up, I especially liked it when the genie-esq character had to remember how to smile. Interesting to see your non-linear approach via the colour coding too. Looking forward to the revised draft!

Thanks! That's one of my favourite parts too - trying to show how the genie character might look human, but she isn't really.

I love the way you color-coded your timeline of writing and explained your process! Very cool! And your story is so imaginative. I'm very much looking forward to seeing your editing process!

I'm glad you liked the colour-coding! I've always thought my writing process is a bit weird, so I thought it would be interesting to try and show it. And thank you!

loved that ending and the drafting process details, great idea!

Thank you! I wasn't sure the ending would have the impact I wanted, so I'm glad to hear you liked it!

[Erin Fulmer]

Love the color-coding to highlight your process. Very interesting magical concept here--loved the index card. It reminded me a bit of Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think you're right about fleshing out the occupant of the cabin--I was wondering if the lack of description was intentional. I look forward to seeing how you refine this!

[Jeffrey Ricker]

Really liked the vivid sensory detail: the feeling of the grass beneath toes, the sounds of the insects, the smell of the grass. And getting a glimpse into your process via the colour coding is fantastic.