For Serenity - Self-Revised Draft

[jlburrowsauthor]

First of all, I want you to know that I tried to do this without help and FAILED! I couldn't find a way to cut 700 words without a second pair of eyes. Everything felt necessary. It was so hard! However, I had a trusted critique partner help and she cut 700 without a single bat of an eyelash! LOL! So, here is the mostly self-revised draft. I've already begun to incorporate the critique partner versions and it is so hard to not show that one because it is already so much better, but I guess you'll have to wait until next week!

You can read it on my blog at https://www.jlburrows.com/2019/11/16/for-serenity/

YAY! Thanks for reading and leave me a comment if you want. I always love those!
Jennifer

[Thuy]

I somehow missed your first draft but couldn’t tell you had to cut 700 words at all! What remains is still so sharp. This beautiful poignant piece about a mother’s love really resonated with me. I love your concept. You had me on the edge of my seat, fearing for her safety, hooked till the very end!

[Grim Dreamer]

Good job!