Evayolin?s Ghosts-3rd Draft

[songmaiden]

I first want to thank Rebecca Fryar, KJ Harrowick, and Rebecca McWilliams for pulling me out of my comfort zone?in my head. The biggest critique was that the new piece I had added in was quite confusing. Because I like to live in my story, I couldn?t see from the outside?and see that critical information was missing for anyone who hadn?t read some of my other stories. I had to go back through and rip apart the beginning until it made sense!

Here?s the result: https://smroffey.wixsite.com/smroffey/single-post/2019/11/22/Writer-In-Motion-Week-3---Evayolins-Ghost-CP-Round-1

[Fabierien]

This is my first time reading and I have so many questions....so many questions.....man that is an incredibly strong voice. I love this story and want more. I feel her trepidation, anguish and regret. I still got a little confused on who was who though. For a bit I thought M'Kree was mom. I am also a bit confused on how mom killed Da if she is off in another ocean. Many questions, but mostly I just want more. Very good story. Thank you for sharing.