Writer In Motion Forum

Author Topic: First Draft: The Fog  (Read 1392 times)

Merethebookgal

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3
  • I am a Writer In Motion
    • View Profile
First Draft: The Fog
« on: July 16, 2021, 02:01:02 AM »
I went a little out of my comfort zone and wrote a scifi story instead of my usual fantasy. I'm already itching to condense a bunch of my word vomit so I can hopefully have a less rushed/more satisfying ending.

   
The Fog was back. Years had passed since its last occurrence, and many held on to the hope it was a false alarm. A trick of the light, or a simple morning mist.

   It wasn?t until cell phone footage started spreading across social media that panic set in. There was no mistaking the way the Fog moved?part dancer, part predator. It put its victims into a trance with its intricate whirling patterns, then enveloped their faces and entered any cavity it could find. The transformation took but a few moments. The transfixed morphed into violent homicidal extensions of the fog.

   Sirens began to wail, with intermittent announcements stating, ?Please remain calm and return to your homes immediately. Secure all doors and windows. Cover all vents with NAFICE-approved filters."
 
   As people swarmed the roads for the safety of their homes, activity ramped up at the National Association of Fog Investigation, Control, and Eradication (NAFICE) headquarters.

   ?Chuck, I need those new images, and I need them now!? Amanda Barlow yelled from her office as scientists and engineers typed furiously away at computers and the phones rang off the hook.

   Chuck turned from his monitor with wide eyes. His breathing was erratic, and his forehead beaded with sweat. ?I?m pulling them up on the main screen now.?

   Amanda walked out of her office and into the control room at a brisk pace. Arms crossed, she began tapping her foot, which only seemed to fluster Chuck more.

   ?Any second now,? Chuck said with a shaky voice. When the images began to load on the twelve-foot-wide screens, he let out a sigh of relief.

   Amanda studied the live satellite images. ?It doesn?t seem to be spreading.?

   ?That is correct,? another woman said as she joined Amanda. ?The Fog is concentrated in Baltimore?s inner harbor area.?

   Amanda sighed and pinched her nose. ?It would choose a tourist destination. One can only hope the hotels are properly equipped for the situation.?

   ?I?ve been in contact with field offices across the country and there are currently no other reported sightings.?

   Amanda studied the newcomer. Her dark hair was pulled back from her face, and she wore jeans and a white polo with the NAFICE logo. She pushed black framed glasses up her nose as she continued to watch the satellite footage.

   ?And you are??

   The woman turned to Amanda. ?Jeannette, ma?am. Jeannette Miller. I lead the Eradication Prototype Team.?

   ?Ah,? Amanda said with a little laugh. ?Of course. You?ve been working on a laser gun or something, yes??

   Jeannette pursed her lips. ?No. We are building portable machines that exude heat rays and wind.?

   Amanda shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention back to an unsuspecting Chuck.

   ?Chuck! Where are we with evacuations? Are there boots on the ground??

   He let out a small squeak and typed away furiously. ?NAFICE Special Forces are on scene but need orders on how to proceed. I have Meagan Wilson on video, she is leading the strike team.?

   ?Send her to my personal screen.?

   Amanda began walking back to her office, and realized Jeannette was following. She stopped abruptly and turned.

    ?Can I help you??

   Jeannette squared her shoulders. ?I need to be part of this meeting.?

   ?Is that so??

   ?Yes. My team has made some important discoveries over the past few years, and??

   A video feed with an officer in fatigues appeared on Amanda?s screen. She let out a small, exasperated sound. ?Fine, but close the door behind you.?

   The officer looked to be in the thick of it. ?Meagan Wilson reporting in, ma?am. We?ve evacuated the area and have formed a quarter-mile perimeter, but are unsure of our next steps. A few squadrons have attempted engaging with the Fog, but they were quickly overcome and most of our nearby troops are dealing with tranquilizing them before they hurt anyone.?

   ?Send my team in,? said Jeannette.

   Amanda swiveled in her chair. ?You can?t be serious.?

   ?What are your options? Normal fog needs heat to dissipate, and we know whatever this Fog is can keep its temperature close enough to the dew point to stay for around for as long as it wants. Do you want to continue waiting it out, or do you want to fight back??

   Amanda steepled her fingers as she held Jeannette?s gaze. ?Wilson, what are your thoughts??

   ?Well, like she said. We don?t have many options,? Meagan said as she shrugged. ?Send her out and I?ll supply backup.?

   Amanda looked to the ceiling and sighed. ?You have ten minutes to get your team and your laser guns on the helipad.?

   Jeannette jumped up. ?Thank you, ma?am. They aren?t lasers, they?re??

   Amanda waved her away as she picked up her phone. ?I don?t care what they are. Go kill this thing.?

***

   Thirty minutes later, Jeannette and her team of four were in a military vehicle driving down an empty sidewalk toward the Fog. It had gone back over the water, whether to draw up more moisture, or to travel to another area, they couldn?t be sure.

   Jeannette turned to her team when the vehicle stopped. ?We need to try to get the machines all around the Fog. Robert and Sandra will take boats out into the harbor while we set up on land.?

   Everyone nodded in agreement, checked the signals on their radios, and went their separate way.

   Jeannette set up her machine near the water?s edge and beside the historic USS Constellation. It was eerily quiet without the regular tourist traffic, and the air was thick with anticipation.

   She looked out at the whirling thick cloud of mist as it turned this way and that.  Her radio came to life.

   ?Jeannette?come in?we are set and ready.?

   ?10-4. On my mark. Three, two, one, GO!?

   Five intense beams of light shot out in all directions toward the floating mass. Their effect was immediate, and the Fog began to break apart. A cheer came up from the nearby troops, but the Fog reformed and shot down to Robert?s boat. Jeannette heard the screams through his radio.

   ?Add the wind,? Jeannette radioed to the team.

   Soon, between the heat and strong wind from all directions, the Fog could not keep its form. Little by little the harbor cleared.

   Jeannette let out a sigh of relief, but a young soldier ran up and said, ?There?s still a small part left. Look!?

   Sure enough, a few wisps had reformed and were moving out of the harbor at a quick pace.

   Jeannette followed its movement until it was out of eyesight. ?We?ll be prepared for next time.?
 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
    


JeSuisAmanda

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2
  • I am a Writer In Motion
    • View Profile
Re: First Draft: The Fog
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2021, 12:28:52 AM »
I really love all the strong female characters here. It didn't really dawn on me until the 2nd read through! I want to know more about this fog. Especially since they seem to be sure that it WILL be back.

A fun read!