Hahah! I absolutely love that you write jokes to yourself in the margins. What's more fun than cracking up at your own cleverness during revisions?
Your storytelling technique is incredible. The tweaks you made sharpened the story, building layers with succinct descriptions and revealing a multitude of complexities without bloating any of the details. I instantly want to know more about this world: the magic of the Tower, the MC's agelessness, the mysterious cursed fog, and what the MC's disappearance means with the shattered glass. MORE please!