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Author Topic: Space Cows 2: Final Draft  (Read 2131 times)

SKaeth

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Space Cows 2: Final Draft
« on: November 30, 2019, 08:50:49 PM »
Here it is on my blog: https://skaeth.com/2019/11/30/writer-in-motion-space-cows-2-final-draft/

Or, read below!

Quote
Splash!
You drop into a marsh. A bellow escapes as you flounder to find footing. Green plants, blue sky?except where thunderclouds are rolling in?and brown dirt surround you. A hill rises from the edge of the marsh, and the clouds above are lit in flashes. You were given a mission: investigate the Beacon and come home. And that?s exactly what you intend to do.
Beside you, your Wolf ?partner? struggles, the Matter Transportation Device clamped in his jaws. He goes under, then fights to the surface, ears laid back. Your stomach twists. The Wolves nearly stranded you to be torn apart by monsters, but if he drowns with the Matt, you?ll never get home.
?Climb on my back,? you grumble.
The Wolf?s claws dig into your hide. You try not to flinch. Acting like prey only encourages a Wolf?s cruelty.
The marsh mud sucks at all four hooves as you slog toward the hill and the flashing Beacon. When you finally meet dry land, the Wolf drops to his own paws and shakes himself, and you do likewise. He clutches the Matt in his front paws, his eyes ringed with white. Is he? frightened? No, it must be a trick. After all, he has the Matt. You?re not falling for it.
?Come on, we need to find the Beacon.? You move to pass him.
?We?re stuck here, you stupid Cow.?
You freeze, waiting for the next words to fall from his muzzle, dreading and hating them before they?re even born.
?I hung on to it. But the water? Just look!? He thrusts the Matt in your face. ?Do you see any lights??
No cheerful glow?just a dead metallic box. It?s broken. You stamp the dirt beneath your hooves.
?We can?t get back.? The Wolf?s bitter tones slice at you. ?They?re not going to send anyone after us. We had the only working Matt.? He lobs it at you, and you flinch when it hits your sensitive muzzle.
The words dry in your throat. Every Cow knows to stay calm around a Wolf, no matter how much they want to run, to keep their predatory instincts from kicking in. But it?s hard. Once your racing heart and trembling limbs are under control, you pick up the Matt and open the casing. The water has flooded it, shorting the power supply.
?The settlement surely has supplies. Or we can call for help. The Beacon is still out there.? You leave the board exposed and head toward the settlement.
?We?re stuck here!? he shouts, as if you haven?t understood.
You keep a tight lid on the terror. ?I?m still going to do my duty. I may be just a stupid Cow, but I?m not afraid of hard work. I?ll find a way home on my own if I have to.?
Or die trying. A Cow on her own is prey waiting to happen. What then of a Cow traveling with a Wolf? The thought makes your cud dry on your tongue. Your instincts scream danger.
The Beacon lights the storm clouds above a settlement on a cliffside, crisp against the tossing ocean. Though rusted by the salt air, the tall metal fence surrounding it glows in the afternoon sun. The gate creaks as a settler opens it, ushering you inside. More fill the space behind him, similar to the monsters from the previous planet. Humanoid. You shiver.
?Thank the Whales, the Wolves are here!? The gatekeeper flaps hairless arms. ?And they brought?? He furrows his brow. ??food??
?Might as well,? the Wolf says with a lolling tongue. ?Since I can?t return to my ship.?
The gate clangs shut before you can back away. A snarling wolf is carved on the inside. Dismay slams through you. You are not prey! But the settlers? eyes face forward, like the Wolf?s. You?re surrounded by predators and predators show no mercy.
?But the Beacon!? you shout, desperate to stall. ?You called for help.?
?Yes, we lit it as instructed when the water purifier broke. See?? The person leads you to a large machine?a water desalinator.
The Wolf crowds behind you, flashing teeth. ?No need to worry about that now.?
You stamp, whirling to face him. ?We came here to fix this.?
?We?ll give you until evening,? the settlers agree.
?I?ll help.? The Wolf gives you a toothy grin. ?Since it?s why we?re here.?
Your blood rushes in your ears. You crouch by the machine, pulling off the side panel.
?Oh, too bad,? the Wolf points. The collection basin of the desalinator is rusted through. You have no metal to replace it.
?But the marsh must be fed by a freshwater source, given the smell.? Regardless, there are other ways of getting salt out of water.
This is a trap.
?Good, they can find something to drink to wash you down.? He sniffs at you.
You turn away, trying to still the shivers. Tears well up. You?ll be slaughtered and eaten.
A wire catches your eye. You grab the Matt, shielding it from the Wolf?s view as he pokes around inside the desalinator. Dusk is settling but the sun has dried out the inside. If you can splice in a new power source, you don?t have to be dinner.
?Time?s up. The people are hungry.? The Wolf pats your back.
Using a sharpened rock as a knife, you strip the wires on the Matt and the desalinator. You twist them together to splice them. The Matt lights up.
The Wolf peers over your shoulder. ?What are you?
?Not such a stupid Cow.? You jerk the Matt out of his reach. ?I?m going home.?
?Let?s go then!? His eyes gleam.
?You were going to let them eat me!?
?Come on, Cow, it was just a joke.? He shrugs with a friendly smile and wagging tail.
You narrow your eyes. ?Fine. I have a joke of my own.?
Prey runs.
As he opens his mouth, you press the button, Matt?ing safely back up to the ship.

Grim Dreamer

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Re: Space Cows 2: Final Draft
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2019, 10:05:21 PM »
Good job!

Thuy

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Re: Space Cows 2: Final Draft
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2019, 05:36:15 AM »
Gosh, I LOVE peeking at your revision process, SK. You are so methodical and detailed and the final product is just a satisfying joy to read. I'm so freakin excited about a Space Cows series! Matt me up, Scotty!

songmaiden

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Re: Space Cows 2: Final Draft
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2019, 03:06:32 AM »
I love this so much! I want to keep reading about the space cows!