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Author Topic: Untitled: First Draft  (Read 2208 times)

lsisler

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Untitled: First Draft
« on: August 03, 2020, 12:41:00 PM »
Here is my first draft, still untitled.

BErixson

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Re: Untitled: First Draft
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2020, 04:32:07 PM »
Hello! Of course I'm the first reply on yours. I can see how you made the connection to the house and the beach house. I can also see where you've pulled in elements of the unknown and anticipation from the image.

Looking forward to the next draft.

Keep writing.

lsisler

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Re: Untitled: First Draft
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2020, 04:39:05 PM »
For the next round of self-edits I need to tighten up the language and perhaps provide a bit more connective tissue throughout.
Thanks for reading!

Vickywrites

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Re: Untitled: First Draft
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2020, 03:04:51 PM »
Hello, I can see the connection between the mountain & the beach houses too. I enjoyed the memoir-esq feel and the musical references, music is so evocative. Looking forward to reading the next draft!

lsisler

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Re: Untitled: First Draft
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2020, 04:43:32 PM »
Thanks, Vicky, for the words of encouragement. I am looking forward to the next draft as well.

Erin Fulmer

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Re: Untitled: First Draft
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2020, 06:42:14 PM »
Love that first line and the way you brought it back in the last line.