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Untitled: First Draft
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Topic: Untitled: First Draft (Read 2208 times)
lsisler
Full Member
Posts: 7
I am a Writer In Motion
Untitled: First Draft
«
on:
August 03, 2020, 12:41:00 PM »
Here is my first draft, still untitled.
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BErixson
Full Member
Posts: 11
I am a Writer In Motion
Re: Untitled: First Draft
«
Reply #1 on:
August 03, 2020, 04:32:07 PM »
Hello! Of course I'm the first reply on yours. I can see how you made the connection to the house and the beach house. I can also see where you've pulled in elements of the unknown and anticipation from the image.
Looking forward to the next draft.
Keep writing.
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lsisler
Full Member
Posts: 7
I am a Writer In Motion
Re: Untitled: First Draft
«
Reply #2 on:
August 03, 2020, 04:39:05 PM »
For the next round of self-edits I need to tighten up the language and perhaps provide a bit more connective tissue throughout.
Thanks for reading!
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Vickywrites
Full Member
Posts: 42
I am a Writer In Motion
Re: Untitled: First Draft
«
Reply #3 on:
August 04, 2020, 03:04:51 PM »
Hello, I can see the connection between the mountain & the beach houses too. I enjoyed the memoir-esq feel and the musical references, music is so evocative. Looking forward to reading the next draft!
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lsisler
Full Member
Posts: 7
I am a Writer In Motion
Re: Untitled: First Draft
«
Reply #4 on:
August 04, 2020, 04:43:32 PM »
Thanks, Vicky, for the words of encouragement. I am looking forward to the next draft as well.
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Erin Fulmer
Administrator
Sr. Member
Posts: 55
I am a Writer In Motion
Re: Untitled: First Draft
«
Reply #5 on:
August 04, 2020, 06:42:14 PM »
Love that first line and the way you brought it back in the last line.
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Untitled: First Draft