Hey there! So for my self-edit I put the short story through Pro-Writing Aid and then had Word read the story back to me so I could listen to anything that sounded off. Then I did a final comb through to change any word choices I felt needed some sprucing up. Not a ton of changes overall, and it is still at 1k exactly. Here is my self-edited story about Tilda.
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Warm summer winds tugged at Tilda's unruly curls. The flowers weren't picking themselves, and she had to get it done before the sun went down.
She hummed while she snipped a stem here and there. Twenty-one tingle blossoms. That was what she needed for the spell--that and the rest of the ingredients she'd already gathered. Tonight she was going to cast the most amazing spell that ever was and prove to those ruddy kids at the academy she was just as good as them, even if she was younger. Better even. Tonight she was casting a spell she'd made all on her own.
With the last flower picked, Tilda scurried up the hillside, the long grasses swishing round her as she went. She lived by herself in Nock's Glenn in a little cottage made by some such relative from who knew when. She sure didn't know. Tilda burst through the door, the little blue Spark of hers lighting the one-room house when she stepped in.
"Hey Bluey, I found 'em. Gonna do it tonight. It's a perfectly clear night too!"
She plopped the flowers on the table that served as her dining table, her desk, and most importantly her brewing area. She tossed her floppy over-sized hat on her bed.
Bluey hiss popped at her happily. Its sparks going purple at the tips of its flames.
"Don't worry, I'll bring you out in the lantern so you can see it too," she said as she grabbed a twig from a pocket in her robes. It was an extra dry one, Bluey's favorite. She tossed the stick its way and the little spark chomped it away.
Tilda pulled out her magic mixing pot, dumped in water she'd gathered from the Unicorn's River. "Can you heat this?" she asked Bluey as she danced around the chair to her bed. She'd hidden a special branch in there that Bluey couldn't eat. It was a starbranch, it grew from a fallen star.
When she turned around, the branch tucked into her sleeve, Bluey hopped over to the little crook under the pot made just for it. The water quickly boiled.
First she dropped in the twig. The water swirled with the colors of the rainbow. Then she tossed in each of the tingle blossoms. Last, she grabbed a handful of sugar because everything was better with sugar.
"Mix and brew, mix and brew, see just what you can do," she sang as she stirred with a large wooden spoon. Bluey hummed along as best it could.
Slowly the mixture turned to a sparkling midnight liquid. "Looks good to me. All right, you ready to jump in the lantern?"
Bluey popped a yes.
But where was that thing?
Tilda spun round and round her messy little cottage. It wasn't by the haphazard pile of dishes in the sink. She'd have to get to those eventually. Neither was it by her table or her bed still unmade. The only other place it could be was under her bed.
She sighed and crawled underneath, carefully trying her best not to disturb the cobwebs of her resident spiders.
With Bluey in the mixing pot, the home wasn't lit as much as it usually was, and now she could barely see a thing. Tilda reached into her belt pouch for her trusty little opal stone.
Focusing on the smooth stone, she whispered, "Illuminate."
Bright white light spread from the stone, knocking the darkness of the underbed into sad scattered shadows. There in the corner sat the lantern. It laid on its side neglected. She swiped it, put away the stone, and shimmied back out from under her bed.
"Rotten thing, how'd it get down there anyway?" Tilda muttered as she walked back to Bluey. "Okay, ready for real this time."
She opened the glass door of the lantern and set it next to the spark. Bluey sprang into the lantern, a smile stretching across its flames. It'd been a while since she brought Bluey out with her. She really should do it more often. She clipped the lantern to her belt, made sure it was secure with a tug, and grinned.
"Let's light the night sky. Yeah?" Excited bubbles filled her stomach so full she was bound to burst soon.
Tilda grabbed the magic pot and carried it grandma style to the door. She kicked the bottom corner of the door twice and it bounced open. So glad she invented the hands free way to open a door. She'd figured that one out when she was ten. The spell she was doing tonight would be the biggest one she'd made in her life, and if she could succeed now, she'd never be doubted again by anyone. Twelve was a hard enough age already.
She had the perfect spot picked out for where to cast the spell. A few paces from her house the ground dipped away into a valley. The academy was at the bottom of the valley where everyone else lived throughout the year. They'd have one heck of a view.
Carefully, Tilda set the magic pot down. She took a step back and raised her hands to the pot.
"Little stars, rise on up to the skies above, shoot across the heavens!" Tilda's hands glowed green with her magic. The liquid in the pot pulsed green three times.
Then all at once her concoction erupted from the pot like a volcano and flew to the darkening skies.
Shooting stars in all shades of green flew across the sky, chiming as they went. They'd fade eventually, but for now, it was amazing. Tilda grabbed the lantern and held Bluey up to see.
"Not bad, huh?" She giggled. It transitioned into a full body laugh that made her fall to the ground holding her sides while awkwardly holding onto the lantern. When her giggles finally stopped, she watched the light-show she'd created.
She did it. She made a spell no one else had ever done. She created stars.
Topic: Week 2-Stars (Self-Edit) (Read 1152 times)