https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zNBsoGuBNZrki13MQqyF5YusVOKIgd8rXZ1CaEbIP8k/edit?usp=sharingI took my two CPs' feedback and tried to incorporate it; one of them suggested more description of Jesse so she's now a brawny lass with some sucker-punched (pun intended) armor
Although this was not a suggested edit, I also changed the octopus to a squid because even if it's a small detail, in my honestly not humble opinion on this particular topic, squids need all the love.
I reordered and reworded some of the dialogue to hopefully flow better. The biggest shame edit I had was that I misspelled a sailing term for a maneuver I've actually done before! But oh well, as one of the CPs said, it was the typo imp
Topic: Putting the Tertiaries to Rest [THIRD DRAFT] (Read 1531 times)