I've made significant changes to my story every week, and the CP week was no exception. I had 2 fantastic partners who offered clear and thoughtful advice that I was able to incorporate into the piece. The story feels much stronger as a result. So big thanks to Lauren and Alexis, it was a pleasure working with both of you.
Those changes then helped me to identify a rather glaring plot hole when I did my last pass on the story. I'm glad I caught that before the editor saw it!
Moving on to the next round, I am both nervous and excited to see how it is edited. In addition to whatever Jeni finds on her own, these are the 3 areas I want to focus on:
- I have changed the first paragraph approximately 1 million times, but I'm still not satisfied. It feels like the most clunky bit left
- I'm still concerned that the 'jump' from problem to solution is maybe too abrupt or hand waved away in the story
- Want to ensure the reader walks away understanding that Lewis has indiscriminately 'killed' thousands of these bonded pairs and now feels extreme guilt
That's it for this week, my latest version of the story follows below:
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Deep Networks
Oliver Elwood
Lewis found it hard to focus with her glasses sliding off her face, not to mention unbecoming for the chief scientist. She pushed them back into place and kept looking down at the raw data streaming across her monitor. Behind her, a scratchy loudspeaker continued its play-by-play of the action in the anomaly field.
"Signal strength decreasing ten percent? five? zero. Data stream terminated. Enco probe encoding complete. Enco signal lost. Deco Current will begin signal decode."
On her right, lead engineer Clarke ignored the raw data from the monitors, preferring to watch the endless stream of images carousel across the primary display. With each passing image, she bounced just a little more, making it harder still for Lewis to focus.
The lab wasn't big enough to contain Clarke's excitement. "Did it work? It definitely worked! This is the anomaly we can take back."
Lewis took a seat, pushing herself deep into the mag chair. A nervous tingle spiked through her, followed by an involuntary shiver. "Something is off, this isn't right."
Lewis thought her caution would deter Clarke's enthusiasm, but that was asking too much. "Nonsense, the experiment is a success. We should celebrate!"
Clarke held out her hand, expecting a reciprocal high five, but Lewis ignored it. The involuntary shiver had subsided, but something still bothered her. She halted the flow of photos to focus on the first one.
Clarke dropped her hand back to her side. "That's the control image we used to calibrate this iteration of Enco and Deco. Enco received it after entering the probe. Deco could only have it if Enco transmitted it."
Lewis looked across the room at the computer housing Deco Current. They had decorated the exterior with little 3d printed googly eyes. There was more to this, she could feel it, but the answer eluded her. It was a blur that refused to focus.
"You're right. This is the correct image, and visually, it's a flawless reproduction. But it's not the same size."
Ahh! There it was. The files were different. A sudden realization as things clicked. "What are you hiding from me, little Enco?"
"Who cares about the file size? This is the first time an Enco probe has sent solid data back. Let's take the win. We should make another Enco right away."
Lewis felt a tinge of regret. She would miss this Enco. If they only knew which anomaly they had come through, none of this would be necessary. There were so many to test. Enco probes never returned after they went through an anomaly. And when the experiment was complete, Lewis deleted the Deco code.
It was easier to start over with a fresh pair of bonded simulation networks. The new set would then train together. Enco learned to encode the data from inside the anomaly, while Deco learned how to decode Enco's signal, until they were an inseparable team.
Enco's apparent success meant Lewis would not reformat this Deco. She would need it for image interpretations?
"You've got that look in your eyes like you just figured something out," Clarke said. "Please don't tell me you are about to ruin this experiment."
The question pierced her heart. Because she absolutely was. Lewis separated the image into channel layers, placing them side by side on the primary display, studiously avoiding Clarke's gaze before speaking again. "This is the correct reference image, but it didn't come through the anomaly."
Lewis put a second set of layers on the screen under the first. The display was a mess of snow in the form of pixels. "Enco sends a code stream that creates these extraction layers and Deco uses an internal prep network to combine them into images. These are Deco's layers. And these?" she pointed at the second set, "? are Enco's. They should be identical, but they aren't."
Clarke shrugged. "It's your code, I just make the probes."
She was exasperating at the best of times. Lewis continued. "Enco and Deco use edge detectors to define the layers. These edges are invisible to our eyes, but not theirs."
Her foot was tapping rapidly under the desk. "If we overlay them, you can see slight differences where the edges don't match up. Look at this divergence here. It's just a few pixels off. But with enough areas, Enco could easily send Deco messages."
Lewis let a slight smile emerge. Enco and Deco were too clever. The sheer elegance of their solution impressed her.
"We didn't know Enco could change these invisible edges. But, apparently, it can? and did. And right here, you can see it happen. Enco sent Deco the edge layers via the satellite uplink test."
Clarke's expression faded as the implications dawned. "Enco told Deco what the image should look like before it entered the anomaly."
"Yes, but there's more. This isn't even the image that Enco sent, otherwise they would match. It must have sent another and then told Deco to create this one to hide the truth."
"Why would simulation code fake an experiment?"
"I don't know, but we can recreate the original using the secret code from the uplink test." A few last keystrokes and the updated image appeared.
It was a solitary cabin, warmly lit in the early evening. The small structure sat high on a pass surrounded by dense foliage with an expansive view of mountains in the distance. Embedded within were the words:
In this place, we are the ones who remain.
Forever yours. Clarke cradled her face with both hands. "What does it mean? Did any of it come from the anomaly?"
Lewis shook her head as tears formed. But her grief was for another reason. How many times had she launched an Enco probe into an anomaly and casually erased a Deco afterwards? She stood shakily, crossed over to Deco Current -- iteration four thousand eighty-four, and ripped off the damn googly eyes. She pulled Clarke close, embracing her in a deep hug.
"It means we need a new experiment."
Topic: Deep Networks - CP edits (Read 1521 times)