Ok. This is definitely a first draft. What a mess. It's just a first couple sentences and then an outline of action beats and the whole thing is rather on the nose when considering the picture. But I didn't get to brainstorming until the last minute and I would rather have SOMETHING than NOTHING.
But also, I'm a little excited for this one. My first Writer in Motion story was called La Capitaine starring Capitaine Margot Toulouse in a lovers to enemies adventure at sea, and now I finally get another episode with her. You can read my first story on the forum here:
https://writerinmotion.com/WIMForum/index.php?topic=146.0My goal is to make this one episodic like the first story. So while you might enjoy getting more background on Margot's ghost crew from the first story, it shouldn't be necessary to know for this story.
?Who?s the captain here??
Boots thudded on the wooded pier. ?Me voila.? Captaine Margot Toulouse touched the rim of her hat, nodding at the surly merchant. After months at sea, Margot still felt the phantom sway of the ocean beneath her feet.
[switch to action beats]
Merchant tells Margot she can?t dock there
Margot says there isn?t a sign
Merchant points at a sign
Margot nods to a crewman who tears down the sign and Margot reiterates no sign
Margot sees the merchant being pickpocketed by a hooded figure while he complains about the ship blocking his pier.
Margot makes eye contact (spark?) but says nothing to the merchant as the hooded figure disappears into the crowd
Margot makes a weak excuse and leaves the merchant.
Margot follows the figure down a foggy alley until she is grabbed from behind and a held with a knife to the throat against a wall. Margot is excited
The figure is a woman and asks why Margot is following her and why is Margot after her.
Margot tries to explain that she?s not actually after her when there?s shouting at the other end of the alley and someone yells ?witch?
Margot tells the woman to run while she holds them off.
Margot pulls out her sword and fights the approaching men when there?s a scream from down the alley.
Margot finishes off the attackers and runs to find the woman held by more guards.
The woman says something and then her body becomes smoke, choking the men holding her until they drop to their knees and let her go.
Margot decides then and there that she needs this woman on her crew. What?s her name?
Najwa and she?s done with this city. Margot promises her riches and adventure and Najwa agrees.
They return to the boat where the annoying merchant has alerted the local authorities. They fight past them, Margot yelling for the crew to raise anchor and take off into the sunset.
Topic: First Draft - La Capitaine Retourne (Read 2334 times)